Friday, August 29, 2014

Earlier Blog Draft I Just Discovered :)

"When will I ever learn to live in God
When will i ever learn?
He gives me everything I need and more
When will I ever Learn ?" (Van Morrison)

(This was an entry that never got out of my draft pile...just written in the last six months or so, so here it is!)
I am sitting at my computer right now after running...literally running... to the bathroom seven times tonight! Nope, it's not my "fun night of prep before a colonoscopy". Nor is it a flu bug. It apparently is the tail end of 48 hours of hyper inflammatory issues in my gut and elsewhere....that migraine last night was a kicker. My body always lets me know when I have overtaxed my reserves and not done a good job of feeding it and resting it! I will get this resting in Him thing down more consistently sooner or later. Hopefully sooner, so I don't trash my self physically and I can stretch out the mileage on this shell that houses me for a lot more fulfilling years and not just survive to a ripe old age.

I have struggled with busy times and I have struggled with times where I am so depressed it is an effort to get out of bed. I think we all have struggled with these to a greater or a lesser degree. Either one requires letting go and letting God.
Either one requires admitting we are weak and He is strong.
Either one requires that we learn to care and nurture the life God has lavished upon matter what socio-economic bracket we are in or what our ethnicity is, we need to honor the life He gave us and care for it like the precious gift it is. When I abuse myself or others with my actions, my words, or worse, my heart and attitude, I am saying to the world, "I don't value myself very much, nor God Who created me, nor anyone else." I need Him every moment of every day...every breath is a gift from him.  This is a sweet blog post on resting in Him by this woman!!! Good stuff!

Prayers for Ferguson/St Louis/Our Country
Prayers for those two families most impacted
Prayers for our hearts and motives and actions

I do not have words of wisdom, nor deep, deep insights about the recent events here in St Louis.
I have a sadness and a fear that nothing will ever change, mixed with a hope that things really might begin to change in the right direction.

I have read and seen things that have lifted and crushed my spirit at the same time by people at the scene in Ferguson, online sitting at their keyboards, and in conversations going on all over the place.

I really am hopeful that we all remember that the  lingering effects of such a traumatic event stay with people for longer than the news coverage ever does.

I am hoping that the intentional behavior of many of us to be kinder, more aware, and careful of what we say or even what we might nod in agreement with, becomes habit and not just a "crisis response".

I think that most of us would agree that there is no right or wrong 100% on either side of the coin, but there is a stalemate in our culture that is slowly snuffing the life out of many of us. It's an apathy that breeds many symptoms that at times flare up and that can create pain and suffering and even death.

I need to confess that I do not want to enter into the discomfort of what these events call me to do. I want to stay in a comfort zone that falsely promises to protect me and mine. 

And yet, I am weary of the ongoing heaviness that broods in our land...a darkness that requires that the light of the gospel and the love of our Lord be released into it in the ways each of us are uniquely wired by God to release it.

I am thankful for the life God has given me. I do NOT take it for granted. But, I am required by his love towards me to share that love willingly and not sparingly.

My heart goes out to all of the residents and the families in Ferguson impacted by this terrible tragedy. 
My heart also goes out to all law enforcement personnel and their families that put their lives on the line for us every day. 

I am not ignoring or discounting the fact that there are people who have done terrible things both as citizens and as law enforcement officers, but I believe that most of us want peace and unity.

As I said in a FaceBook post a week or so ago, we need to take personal responsibility for our own actions, attitudes, and words. 
Especially as we sit in the relative "anonymity" of our homes or cars or offices and type away on social media.

Words have power.
Words have meaning.
Words reflect what is truly in a person's heart.
What we choose to post or choose not to post shows more often than not what sort of person we are.

I pray that these struggling words I have clumsily written reflect God's character more than mine, I really do!