Saturday, April 21, 2012

Crying At the End of A TV Show (Spoiler Warning!)

Just watched the final show in the fourth season of Doc Martin (BBC Show) and I could not believe that I cried and cried at the ending scene!
No! Not because that's all we can watch until Season Five is released onto Amazon Prime, but because of the subject matter.


The Doc's ex girlfriend Louisa has their baby right at the end of the show literally as the character, Doc Martin, the village GP is heading out of town, moving back to London to return to a career in vascular surgery.

The birth scene totally took me by surprise.
I realize that between my (crazy:) love of having birthed all three of our children "naturally" and the fact that our daughter Erin is due within the next few weeks at the latest and has invited me to attend the actual birth...I am an emotional wreck when it comes to anything childbirth!!

I cannot believe that I once again get to first hand be a witness to a miracle of epic proportions.
Thank you Erin and Matt!

At one time I was encouraged to become a prepared childbirth instructor, but I just never got around to it.
Silly me!!!

When my daughter-in-law, Missy, had her second child, Teddy, she invited me to watch the video of the birth a week or so after he was born. I cried during that as well. It was beautiful! Birth is beautiful! She was beautiful!

When our friends Edward and Sonja asked me to photograph the birth of their little one I was honored and thrilled! When it happened all I could do was continue to shoot photos, not pause to reflect or cry. It was so amazing. Like quiet thunder. That is the best analogy I could come up with for a new life slipping into this realm, powerfully and yet with quiet strength and power! I sat in the parking garage afterwards and grinned and cried and called my best friend to share the moment with her.

I am so thankful to God for the amazing opportunities to be present for or watch the births of these babies to some people I love very much. However, I have to wonder at my visceral response anytime I see a birth, even on a television show.

I can only assume that childbirth is one of those times the window into God's miraculous power is opened just a bit...just enough to cause our breath to catch, our heart to skip a beat,  and remind us that He's in charge and is indeed the Creator of life!

Yeah, I think it's one of those times!

Friday, April 20, 2012

So, I've been thinking. Nothing like my youngest child, Jessi, turning thirty to cause me to ruminate a bit. (And is Josh really going to be thirty-five?!?!)

Fred and I have been together for 40 years next month, as we met and were thereafter inseparable the first week in May of 1972!

My daughter, Erin is presenting us with the first child by one of our daughters! A big event, really a miracle, considering their story. 

Our oldest grandchild, Sonya, starts kindergarten in the fall!

Inevitably, we both turn sixty this year! Surprising for some reason, to my sensibilities!!

Erin and I started gentle yoga and I have continued on and love it!!! My core strength may actually be slowly reappearing!!!

I have experienced the deep-in-my-gut awareness that I am an orphan in this world, and at times that wakes me at night and I have to swallow down the fear and pray against the anxiety that accompanies the realization that on my side of the family we are the oldest generation!!

I am attempting to finish and start several writing projects...AND PUBLISH at least one of I meet with my friend Jackie and spur her on in her writing endeavors and try to get myself going as well.

I have several photos waiting to be dry-mounted and then find somewhere to display them and hopefully sell them all!

I have almost finished wrapping up all the loose ends, etc, with my mom's things and her estate. That has sat heavy on my heart and  I realized the need to move fast to finish it up and get it all out from in front of me! The photos are at once saddening and cathartic. I will be scanning quite a few of those!

Fred and I are loving being involved in music once again as well as being back "home" in a non-denominational church! 
The mix of people at U City Family Church is so right!

I will be at the birth, God willing, of Erin and Matt's little one and that is a blessing beyond words!!! If they should change their minds, I will understand, but truly hope it all works out for me to witness the birth!!

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." (Serenity Prayer)