Tuesday, June 29, 2010

As life cascades around me, someone's got my back.

This week I am trying to take some time off and mentally get a break.
I don't think that is possible.
My friend Marti came in town last night to get a break from her current parent-care time-of-life.
Her mom is in hospice care and has been for over a year. It is grueling and her mother-in-law is also beginning to greatly decline in health. She needs a break! We are going to try to veg and laugh and cry and let down.

Burning Question Today: What do I do as far as the tension between hospice philosophy and the nursing home philosophy?!?!?
It is hard enough to emotionally go through this, and to physically and mentally always be on top of my mom's  needs and her care.
However, recently, because she wants to stay in bed and is getting weaker and less responsive (sleeping lots more and as of yesterday her speech was somewhat slurred.) I am being asked by the staff at the facility "Why doesn't your mom get out of the bed?" "Why doesn't she get up. I hate to see someone give up on life."
These are a couple of examples of what I am asked just as I arrive at times.
This is an added stress to my sister and me and layers one more opportunity for the question "Am I doing what's right and best for my mom?" to pop up over and over.

The hard truth is my mom is dying.
The harder truth is, she's going slowly in increments and is so tired it is unreal she is still going.
I guess what I am saying is, "Why are you all adding to the difficulty of this situation, why are you not supporting her and us, her family?"

Anyway, I'm calling our hospice provider in a moment to ask them to help advocate more pro-actively on my mom's behalf and our behalf. I do not want to make enemies at the nursing home, that will not help my mom, but they are not on the same page as her, and us, and the hospice caregivers and they need to be!

I feel inadequate to undertake this responsibility. I know I will not do it perfect, I just want to do it well and in that love and honor my mom...she deserves that ...from all of us.

How do I take some time off and get a break? God will provide, He has been this entire time. Jehovah Jireh!
In the midst of all of this, I amazingly have a deep and abiding peace. That is NOT from me, it's all Him!!

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